Christmas In The OC, December 2008
My Journeys Behind The Orange Curtain - Orange County 2008,
Part Quatre
This time, we were without our faithful guide Tom, but still, the
rare chance to observe the indigenous religious rituals called out to us from
afar. Lisa and I ignored our
friends' pleas to stay, laughing in the face of it all, daring to journey south, south
on the 5, crossing the border into this savage land of untamed business parks
and planned communities. This is the fourth in a thrilling series of
undercover exposés that dares to explore the native people who live deep behind
The Orange Curtain.
Page 4 of an ongoing series
 "I
won't be able to be your guide for your adventure this time," my friend Tom
explained, "keep your wits about you and you'll be fine." Although
understandably nervous, our insatiable curiosity to explore the indigenous
religious rituals of the OC native got the best of us.Arming ourselves with the necessary survival gear, we cut through large swathes of planned communities to eventually arrive at our ultimate destination: an OC clan performing rites for a religious holiday occurring each year near the winter solstice. The area outside the premises teemed with savage wildlife. The village looked not unlike the Edwards Scissorhands-esque village of Ladera Ranch, where our friend and guide Tom had hacked out his existence. We parked among the towering SUVs and quickly scurried inside. |
 We
were greeted warmly at the door, immediately made to feel like family, not
strange intruders from a foreign land. And we were surprised to see
that they received transmissions, such as the Lakers-Celtics game, beamed in
from outside the Orange Curtain. Here, the smallest member whom they
called Little Joe sits before the altar of the transmission box. |
 Little
Joe immediately won our hearts, and it was clear that he was a valued member
of this OC clan. He charmed us all when he suddenly uttered, "The
Lakers need to put the beatdown on the Celtics!" The natives, too,
shared in some of our sporting rituals, and this set us even more at ease. |
 As
I made carefully eye contact with each of the clan members, they grew
increasingly comfortable with me, settling back into their pre-religious
ritual routines. Here, Denny points out to us that usage of incandescent
light bulbs in OC habitats is punishable by death as Jen, Jillian, Little
Joe and Joshua listen on. |
 James
showed as much curiosity about us as we did of them, photographing us, and
always keenly observing our mannerisms, speech, and customs while always
sure to make us feel at home. We welcomed his curiosity and kindness,
and felt that we made great inroads in understanding each others' cultures.Here James shares the couch with Mavis and Chester, two visitors from the even more distant land of Ventura County. |
 James
and Gigi assured us that during this religious event, it was safe for us to
venture outside. We walked cautiously around, gasping at the strange
manicured gardens and walkways, strangely devoid of churro carts and people
living in RVs. Where had they gone? What manner of park was
this? |
 Indigenous
OC couple Gigi and James explained to us that their religious ritual, to our
surprise, did not include the Airing of Grievances or the Feats of Strength,
in which one of us would have had to wrestle James to the floor. They
instead ate food from around the world, drank, and exchanged gifts. At
one point, they passed around a wireless telephone so that we could
communicate with Gigi's father David, who lives on a distant island called
Hong Kong. Lisa and I felt deeply honored to be able to speak to one
of the main leaders of the clan. |
 One
of the youngest clan members, Jillian, was intrigued by our final tradition,
the Feats of Strength, celebrated after Festivus dinner, and challenged
Little Joe to a wrestling match. To everyone's surprise, after eight
minutes of wrestling, Little Joe emerged victorious, pinning Jillian to the
floor. To rub salt in the wounds, Jillian then discovered that she
needed to challenge the head of the household to the wrestling match.
Still, the OC natives nodded their heads in approval, finding this Festivus
introduction "amusing". |
 Here,
Jen (the mother of Little Joe, who also hails from the faraway land of
Ventura County), Lisa, and Gigi engage in a fascinating exchange of cultural
information.Thoroughly enjoying the warmth of Jen, Little Joe, Jillian, Joshua, Michelle (who managed to evade my roving camera), Gigi, James, Chester, and Mavis (who was also celebrating her recent retirement!), Lisa and I resolved to meet with them again. |
Christmas in the OC 2008
Miscellaneous Photos
Eleven Shadows Travel Page
Contact photographer/musician Ken Lee
And
although their religious ritual surprisingly did not include an aluminum
Festivus Pole, we found that we had warmed quickly to their customs.
