
My Journeys Behind The Orange Curtain - Orange County 2007,
Part Deux
Amidst the untamed business parks and planned communities,
our courageous friend Tom has hacked out an existence behind The Orange
Curtain. He called, offering to take us on an adventure safari, daring us to go
deeper into the natural habitat of "The
Real Housewives of Orange County". Lisa and I ignored our
friends' pleas to stay, laughing in the face of it all, daring to journey south, south
on the 5, crossing the border into this savage land. This is the second in
an ongoing series that dares to explore the indigenous people of The OC.
Page 2 of an ongoing series


Tom was ready with our safari supplies for our O.C.
expedition, and with a stomp on the gas pedal of his Chrysler 300C, we got
our adventure on. In an act of great derring-do, Tom slipped his black
pimpmobile past the large gate of
Covenant Hills in Ladera Ranch, where
Tamra Barney, featured on "The
Real Housewives of Orange County", lived and mated.
Despite her notoriety for bunco and jello shots, she proved
elusive, and we turned to exploring the natural habitat of Tamra and other
Laderians behind the steel gates of
Covenant Hills.
|
Tom,
Lisa and I explored a model of the natural habitat of a
Covenant Hills native. It was a spacious $1.4M 3600 square foot home
with its creature comforts, outdoor fireplace, island in the kitchen, dreamy
view of the terrain spread out below...Swooning at la
vida dulce of
Covenant Hills, I murmured aloud that I'd never speak ill of a planned
community again. It was all so beautiful.
Only after we'd left the clutches of this habitat did I
realize its danger. Much like sirens luring sea-weary sailors to certain
doom upon their craggy shores, I had fallen under the spell of
Covenant Hills. |
From
Covenant Hills, Tom skillfully cut through large swathes of South O.C. to
arrive at its shores. For we were determined to interact with the
inhabitants behind the mysterious Orange Curtain, to blend in and eat and
shop among them, unnoticed. We were bound for
The Sawdust Art Festival in Laguna Beach.
|
Wanting
to blend in with the natives at the festival, I joined the queue to meet
Santa Claus. |
Carolers
sang holiday songs in the native tongue of The O.C. as vendors bundled in
winter coats commented bitterly on the frigid 60-degree temperatures of
Laguna Beach driving away some of the customers. |
Ceramic
mushrooms. Who can resist the lure of ceramic mushrooms? |
Lisa
cannot, for The O.C.'s mushrooms wield a special power on all who cross
their path. |
The young
offspring of The O.C. natives frolicked in the snow brought about from the
brutal winters of Laguna Beach. |
The
untamed shores of Orange County, in all its savage grace. |
I
was fortunate to observe, up close, a mating ritual of the O.C. native,
involving photography of the wedding party as the sun dipped into the
Pacific.I approached slowly with my camera, making
eye contact with the leader, slowly gaining their trust. And as I drew
closer, I noted that some of their customs are not unlike our own. |

Might these natives make their way into the O.C.'s next
reality show, trading jello shots with Tamra, driving Hummers to the nail
salon, and working in its business parks? Enthralled
with this exotic life behind the Orange Curtain, I vowed to return again. Laguna Beach Survival Guide:
Plastic Surgeons
Day Spas and Hair Salons
Manicures
Art Galleries
Attorneys
Drunken Birds of Laguna Beach
Askmen.com Laguna Beach Babes Beauty Pageant
Republican Party of Laguna Beach
Minutemen Project
Orange County, China - boingboing article
Orange County, China - Wikipedia
On to Page 3 - My Journeys
Behind the Orange Curtain, Part Trois My Journeys Behind The Orange Curtain -
Laguna Beach 2007 (Page 1)
My Journeys Behind The Orange Curtain -
Real Houses of The OC,
Part Deux (Page 2)
My
Journeys Behind The Orange Curtain, Part Trois-Knott's Scary Farm (Page
3)
My Journeys
Behind The Orange Curtain, Part Quatre-Indigenous Winter Solstice
Ritual (Page 4)
My Journeys
Behind The Orange Curtain - New Year's Eve Ritual Along the Savage Border (Page 5)
My Journeys Behind
The Orange Curtain - Indigenous Birth Rituals of The OC (Page 6)
My Journeys Behind The
Orange Curtain - Celebration of The Dead/Crystal Cove (Page 7)
My Journeys Behind The
Orange Curtain - Jewish Seder In the OC (Page 8)
My Journeys Behind The Orange Curtain - The Mysterious Ancient Caves of the HOA (Page 9) |

Orange County 2007, Part Deux
Back to Orange County 2007, Page 1
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