My Journeys Behind The Orange Curtain - Orange County 2007,
Part Deux
Amidst the untamed business parks and planned communities,
our courageous friend Tom has hacked out an existence behind The Orange
Curtain. He called, offering to take us on an adventure safari, daring us to go
deeper into the natural habitat of "The
Real Housewives of Orange County". Lisa and I ignored our
friends' pleas to stay, laughing in the face of it all, daring to journey south, south
on the 5, crossing the border into this savage land. This is the second in
an ongoing series that dares to explore the indigenous people of The OC.
Page 2 of an ongoing series
Tom was ready with our safari supplies for our O.C.
expedition, and with a stomp on the gas pedal of his Chrysler 300C, we got
our adventure on. In an act of great derring-do, Tom slipped his black
pimpmobile past the large gate of
Covenant Hills in Ladera Ranch, where
Tamra Barney, featured on "The
Real Housewives of Orange County", lived and mated.
Despite her notoriety for bunco and jello shots, she proved
elusive, and we turned to exploring the natural habitat of Tamra and other
Laderians behind the steel gates of
Covenant Hills.
|
 Tom,
Lisa and I explored a model of the natural habitat of a
Covenant Hills native. It was a spacious $1.4M 3600 square foot home
with its creature comforts, outdoor fireplace, island in the kitchen, dreamy
view of the terrain spread out below...Swooning at la vida dulce of Covenant Hills, I murmured aloud that I'd never speak ill of a planned community again. It was all so beautiful. Only after we'd left the clutches of this habitat did I realize its danger. Much like sirens luring sea-weary sailors to certain doom upon their craggy shores, I had fallen under the spell of Covenant Hills. |
 From
Covenant Hills, Tom skillfully cut through large swathes of South O.C. to
arrive at its shores. For we were determined to interact with the
inhabitants behind the mysterious Orange Curtain, to blend in and eat and
shop among them, unnoticed. We were bound for
The Sawdust Art Festival in Laguna Beach.
|
 Wanting
to blend in with the natives at the festival, I joined the queue to meet
Santa Claus. |
 Carolers
sang holiday songs in the native tongue of The O.C. as vendors bundled in
winter coats commented bitterly on the frigid 60-degree temperatures of
Laguna Beach driving away some of the customers. |
 Ceramic
mushrooms. Who can resist the lure of ceramic mushrooms? |
 Lisa
cannot, for The O.C.'s mushrooms wield a special power on all who cross
their path. |
 The young
offspring of The O.C. natives frolicked in the snow brought about from the
brutal winters of Laguna Beach. |
 The
untamed shores of Orange County, in all its savage grace. |
 I
was fortunate to observe, up close, a mating ritual of the O.C. native,
involving photography of the wedding party as the sun dipped into the
Pacific.I approached slowly with my camera, making eye contact with the leader, slowly gaining their trust. And as I drew closer, I noted that some of their customs are not unlike our own. |
Orange County 2007, Part Deux
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