My Journeys Behind The Orange Curtain - Orange County 2007, Part Deux
Amidst the untamed business parks and planned communities, our courageous friend Tom has hacked out an existence behind The Orange Curtain.  He called, offering to take us on an adventure safari, daring us to go deeper into the natural habitat of "The Real Housewives of Orange County".  Lisa and I ignored our friends' pleas to stay, laughing in the face of it all, daring to journey south, south on the 5, crossing the border into this savage land.  This is the second in an ongoing series that dares to explore the indigenous people of The OC.

Page 2 of an ongoing series

    


Tom was ready with our safari supplies for our O.C. expedition, and with a stomp on the gas pedal of his Chrysler 300C, we got our adventure on.  In an act of great derring-do, Tom slipped his black pimpmobile past the large gate of Covenant Hills in Ladera Ranch, where Tamra Barney, featured on "The Real Housewives of Orange County", lived and mated. 
 
Despite her notoriety for bunco and jello shots, she proved elusive, and we turned to exploring the natural habitat of Tamra and other Laderians behind the steel gates of Covenant Hills.

Tom, Lisa and I explored a model of the natural habitat of a Covenant Hills native.  It was a spacious $1.4M 3600 square foot home with its creature comforts, outdoor fireplace, island in the kitchen, dreamy view of the terrain spread out below...

Swooning at la vida dulce of Covenant Hills, I murmured aloud that I'd never speak ill of a planned community again.  It was all so beautiful. 

Only after we'd left the clutches of this habitat did I realize its danger.  Much like sirens luring sea-weary sailors to certain doom upon their craggy shores, I had fallen under the spell of Covenant Hills.


From Covenant Hills, Tom skillfully cut through large swathes of South O.C. to arrive at its shores.  For we were determined to interact with the inhabitants behind the mysterious Orange Curtain, to blend in and eat and shop among them, unnoticed.  We were bound for The Sawdust Art Festival in Laguna Beach.

 

 

 


Wanting to blend in with the natives at the festival, I joined the queue to meet Santa Claus.

Carolers sang holiday songs in the native tongue of The O.C. as vendors bundled in winter coats commented bitterly on the frigid 60-degree temperatures of Laguna Beach driving away some of the customers.

Ceramic mushrooms.  Who can resist the lure of ceramic mushrooms?

Lisa cannot, for The O.C.'s mushrooms wield a special power on all who cross their path.

The young offspring of The O.C. natives frolicked in the snow brought about from the brutal winters of Laguna Beach.

The untamed shores of Orange County, in all its savage grace.

I was fortunate to observe, up close, a mating ritual of the O.C. native, involving photography of the wedding party as the sun dipped into the Pacific.

I approached slowly with my camera, making eye contact with the leader, slowly gaining their trust.  And as I drew closer, I noted that some of their customs are not unlike our own.


Might these natives make their way into the O.C.'s next reality show, trading jello shots with Tamra, driving Hummers to the nail salon, and working in its business parks?

Enthralled with this exotic life behind the Orange Curtain, I vowed to return again.

Laguna Beach Survival Guide:
Plastic Surgeons
Day Spas and Hair Salons
Manicures
Art Galleries
Attorneys
Drunken Birds of Laguna Beach
Askmen.com Laguna Beach Babes Beauty Pageant
Republican Party of Laguna Beach
Minutemen Project
Orange County, China - boingboing article
Orange County, China - Wikipedia

On to Page 3 - My Journeys Behind the Orange Curtain, Part Trois

My Journeys Behind The Orange Curtain - Laguna Beach 2007 (Page 1)
My Journeys Behind The Orange Curtain - Real Houses of The OC, Part Deux (Page 2)
My Journeys Behind The Orange Curtain, Part Trois-Knott's Scary Farm (Page 3)
My Journeys Behind  The Orange Curtain, Part Quatre-Indigenous Winter Solstice Ritual (Page 4)
My Journeys Behind The Orange Curtain - New Year's Eve Ritual Along the Savage Border (Page 5)
My Journeys Behind The Orange Curtain - Indigenous Birth Rituals of The OC (Page 6)
My Journeys Behind The Orange Curtain - Celebration of The Dead/Crystal Cove (Page 7)
My Journeys Behind The Orange Curtain - Jewish Seder In the OC (Page 8)
My Journeys Behind The Orange Curtain - The Mysterious Ancient Caves of the HOA (Page 9)


    

Orange County 2007, Part Deux

Back to Orange County 2007, Page 1

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